Strangers

Is it you or is it that you really seem like you've became a stranger to me again. The way you talk to me, as if we just met and you're disinterested in me at all cause I'm all so boring and stuff. It disgusts me big time. You don't seem like you at all. Where have you gone? I kinda miss the way we used to be. But it takes two hand to clap. I hate the distance in between. We've gone too far to be talking like strangers again. This just isn't working okay. 

ACACIA BRINLEY

Acacia is the prettiest girl everrrrrrrrrrrr. I don't know her, hence I'm only talking bout her looks. But who cares. In today's society, all were talking bout is LOOKS LOOK & LOOKS. That's all! It's so freaky annoying how someone can be so perfect. Like they're all you wanna look like, but u just can't. Unless u get plastic surgery, which is not recommended at all. I hate fake. I don't consider makeup as being fake, I categorize it as enhancing what you have. 

Acacia is so pretty, it makes me wanna like looking at her pictures. It's kinda addicting though. Observing someone so pretty live. Sick enough, I'm obsessed with her YouTube videos. Especially, when she's up close to the camera, doing her stuff(being pretty). Ok enuf.

Omg? 

Stahp.

I'm done. xx

I hate myself actually

As much as I wanna be loved. I can't. People don't realise how much I go through, well they're just to oblivion to wanna care bout what I go through or whatever shit. People, oh people. Who am I to judge? After all, I'm only human. 

Most people don't tend to realise how much sufferings one go through just cause of the smile they put  on.

People like to think that they go through the most. 

Because of that, think that they're the strongest. 

and I hate that.

Contradictory enough, I hate myself. You may wonder why cause I'm constant uploading pictures of myself. Smiling.

What people fail to realise is, the messed up dark world inside.

I never thought I'd return to a phase like that again, in this life. But here I am. Back to square one

Thought i'd be happy forever, but I lost it. I lost it all. 

Happiness, where are you. I'm feeling so dead. I've thrown my ego away long enough, trying to save myself. But it didn't work. I'm sorry.

My head really hurts so bad. goodnight. 

Being in the Entertainment Biz is never easy

What do you know about the entertainment industry? All fun & glamour?

Honey, the entertainment industry is one of the toughest industry to struggle in. 

Well almost 1/2 of the population can sing, 1/3 of the population can act, 1/3 can dance. Then who will get hired? 

Well, it's not up to us to decide who wins or loses, who gets the call back & whatnots. To keep you going, always keep in mind that, just that they didn't call you back, doesn't mean you're lousy, it just means you don't fit the role, you're not what they're looking for! You can be the best actor/actress in the world, but if you don't fit that role, they won't hire you! 

Sorry but this is the hard truth. Because if this one good actor/actress gets called back for every film, then... You'll be seeing him/her in every single movie/show.. Isn't that a lil boring?? 

How much can you earn in the entertainment industry? 

Well, some earn a lot, maybe someone's whole month salary, or maybe 5 times a person's monthly salary. Why, you would ask. Well, honestly, a show can go on selling for years, sold internationally, replayed 5 years later, or even win a noble award! Hence, the amount of money that actors/actresses earn aren't that much of a big deal after all. 

And being in the entertainment business, you won't have a stable income. That's why if you know models that are sent overseas by their agents(some), feed on biscuits everyday. Because they just can't get a job, their allowance just allows them to feed on some water & biscuits. 

This industry sure is a tough one, but if that's what you really want, trust me, you're gonna survive, you're gonna make it❤️ 

Images: Tumblr 

Am I invisible?

Idk whats wrong, something's really really wrong. I feel like I'm non existent, nobody noticed me at all. 

Yea, some of you may know that I'm a performer, I must have people watching me perform all the time, I get applaused for, and.. That's it. 

You have no idea what happens off stage. 

I get thrown aside. 

That's why you can always see me striving my way to sing in public or get a spotlight in a dance, or get casted for a film. If you know me well enough, that's what I actually do. 

I don't have real real friends. 

I'm still looking for my true friend. Guy or girl it doesn't matter, I just need somebody to keep me alive. 

Am I invisible? 

Do you know how cold lonely feels? When somebody that's supposedly your close friend no longer call you along to the toilet with them. Cause they rather go with the other friend they found. Especially when you're not very close to that whole group of people, you're not here neither there. and that, results in me being so alone. I'm always the one that's being left behind. Unless I go and talk to people like a pest. 

But why? You're good looking, you should have a lot of people constantly talking to u!?!? 

No I'm not complimenting myself, I for actually find myself that good looking, it's just what I receive from people. I get complimented quite a lot.. I must admit. 

But a thousands of fake friends will never be as important as that 1 real friend that stays by your side all the time. You will die without friends. I don't actually have many constantly talking to me. People think that if you're pretty, boys will keep talking to u. Oh r u serious? Then I must be so ugly. 

All I need is that friend that's always by my side. Even if it's a boy, please don't ask me to stay away from him. 

I'm not like u, I don't have friends. 

'Feels from yesterday' @The Esplande 

Live, don't just breathe

I'm sure if I live my life this way, it's gonna have a con where I lose my social life. Cause like, if I'm truly LIVING, which to me it means to be always preoccupied with something that I enjoy. This whole week, I'm gonna be out from 8am to 10pm. And it'll be consisting of school, cca, dental appointment, tuition, and on set. Wow. 

Isnt this all that I've wanted? And now it's here, I'm too busy to use my phone, but I have people that I have to talk to.. 

Only Sundays will be my breathing day. But I'm sure it's just half a day to breathe..

I hate complaining. 

I'm serious, the more you complain, the more you cannot endure.. But then I have nothing much to say. 

I wanna love life, I hope I make the right decisions. Sometimes I yolo, and sometimes I'm just afraid of everything. 

I'm not too sure bout where I'll go in my future, whether I'll be able to support myself with a job that I like. 

I live my everyday with "Live life to the fullest" and it's amazing. 

Just work hard for everything you do, because you can do it. And I'm so sure of it. 💞 

So.. 

BELIEVE IN YOU. 

Drama Queen

Yea i say things like "I hang out with boys more cause i like that they have less drama". Then here I am about to tell you how dramatic I am. 

I don't think that this can be controlled though, sometimes i really think that i'm crazy, or psychotic, or whatever you wanna call it. This isn't who I wanna be. Can I control it? Can i be any different? Or is it because like what they say cause i'm in a relationship, people tend to become this way?

But I kinda think it's the stress in my life.
My mind is a really chaotic place, it generates thoughts and epiphanies every single second. That's why i'm constantly writing. And no, I don't always write it on this blog, cause I feel very exposed. I'm conservative in a way. But not the way I dress.

Ugh by now I think you should be able to see how disorganised I am. Digressing from topic to topic. I too, can't stand myself ☺️, so don't worry if you feel the same.

and i'm eating some mango yogurt


ok so right now i'm so distracted i forgot i was suppose to blog about my inner sadness.

I felt so sad all week, idk why. can you imagine feeling sad to bed & waking up unhappy still? and when you're trying to make yourself happier, all you get is NO.

I've really no idea what's got into me. I really don't. I just wanna go shopping. I have nothing but a cupboard of clothes I find boring 😂.

yeayeayeayeayeyaeyaeyeyyeayyeey



find my funny side on swagachild.tumblr.com ok? oK? OK? OK?!?! I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND YOU DON'T WANNA ANSWER? WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU? A BASIC B⭐︎*H?  ok you are now. congratulations bruther, u succeeded in being annoying☺️



(before your secrets get published you better whisper to THIS saying "okie dookie i find tis funny")  



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luv ya.