I'm more than tired

I really hate when this happens. It's like, I feel so depressed deep down, but if I were to consort somebody bout this, they'll most likely not understand(and think they do) what I'm feeling and they try to explain to me what I'm going through. Seriously? You'll bring in the hate man. 

I go around telling ppl I'm really tired. Even my teachers are asking me why am I so tired. Haha yea, I'm realllllly tired. 

Alright. I'm really sad alright. I'm freaking the sadness out of my soul. Help. God? Are you there? Why am I so alone. I'm sitting in class with people that aren't really my friend. Even the one that I thought supposedly to be really kind to me changed. She's no longer the same and I'm hurt. Is the bully cycle of my life starting all over again? 😢

How am I expected to do well this way. 

I'm not even emotionally stable and I can't do anything about it. 

Procrastination

I am inevitably extremely guilty of this. I can't help but fall into procrastination. But I felt like I should actually do something.. Like, writing a blog post. You know umpteen times that I wanted to blog, I don't. I could actually just whip out my phone and type in some words when I'm in the train or bus to somewhere far away. I just can't. I rather stare into space, listen to the same song over and over again. Yeah. Thats me.

I'm so lazy. Unless I've got some motivation, then yea I go hard. But once my mom(or anyone) asks me to study, BOOM! I hate studying, I don't wanna do it anymore. Any student will know how annoying it is for someone to ask you to go study. Especially when you're a super busy person taking a break or something, AND they ask you to study. UDVUIPSBVPIVVSHB

I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. JUST SHUT UP EVERYONE.

SORRY SOMETIMES I GET CRANKY AND I HATE EVERYONE, OTHERWISE ILL TRY MY BEST TO LOVE, OR AT LEAST TRY TO COVER UP THE HATE.

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Hate this

How long can we keep this love? Having to keep this distance in mind. I can't say I miss you or I love you like I used to. You know it's something like what they call 'Skinny Love' but it is not. Kay maybe you've been hurt that's why you're not letting me in again. But if there's no trust, there's totally no point of love. 

Get you shyt together man 

You got me cursing.  

Strangers

Is it you or is it that you really seem like you've became a stranger to me again. The way you talk to me, as if we just met and you're disinterested in me at all cause I'm all so boring and stuff. It disgusts me big time. You don't seem like you at all. Where have you gone? I kinda miss the way we used to be. But it takes two hand to clap. I hate the distance in between. We've gone too far to be talking like strangers again. This just isn't working okay. 

ACACIA BRINLEY

Acacia is the prettiest girl everrrrrrrrrrrr. I don't know her, hence I'm only talking bout her looks. But who cares. In today's society, all were talking bout is LOOKS LOOK & LOOKS. That's all! It's so freaky annoying how someone can be so perfect. Like they're all you wanna look like, but u just can't. Unless u get plastic surgery, which is not recommended at all. I hate fake. I don't consider makeup as being fake, I categorize it as enhancing what you have. 

Acacia is so pretty, it makes me wanna like looking at her pictures. It's kinda addicting though. Observing someone so pretty live. Sick enough, I'm obsessed with her YouTube videos. Especially, when she's up close to the camera, doing her stuff(being pretty). Ok enuf.

Omg? 

Stahp.

I'm done. xx

I hate myself actually

As much as I wanna be loved. I can't. People don't realise how much I go through, well they're just to oblivion to wanna care bout what I go through or whatever shit. People, oh people. Who am I to judge? After all, I'm only human. 

Most people don't tend to realise how much sufferings one go through just cause of the smile they put  on.

People like to think that they go through the most. 

Because of that, think that they're the strongest. 

and I hate that.

Contradictory enough, I hate myself. You may wonder why cause I'm constant uploading pictures of myself. Smiling.

What people fail to realise is, the messed up dark world inside.

I never thought I'd return to a phase like that again, in this life. But here I am. Back to square one

Thought i'd be happy forever, but I lost it. I lost it all. 

Happiness, where are you. I'm feeling so dead. I've thrown my ego away long enough, trying to save myself. But it didn't work. I'm sorry.

My head really hurts so bad. goodnight. 

Being in the Entertainment Biz is never easy

What do you know about the entertainment industry? All fun & glamour?

Honey, the entertainment industry is one of the toughest industry to struggle in. 

Well almost 1/2 of the population can sing, 1/3 of the population can act, 1/3 can dance. Then who will get hired? 

Well, it's not up to us to decide who wins or loses, who gets the call back & whatnots. To keep you going, always keep in mind that, just that they didn't call you back, doesn't mean you're lousy, it just means you don't fit the role, you're not what they're looking for! You can be the best actor/actress in the world, but if you don't fit that role, they won't hire you! 

Sorry but this is the hard truth. Because if this one good actor/actress gets called back for every film, then... You'll be seeing him/her in every single movie/show.. Isn't that a lil boring?? 

How much can you earn in the entertainment industry? 

Well, some earn a lot, maybe someone's whole month salary, or maybe 5 times a person's monthly salary. Why, you would ask. Well, honestly, a show can go on selling for years, sold internationally, replayed 5 years later, or even win a noble award! Hence, the amount of money that actors/actresses earn aren't that much of a big deal after all. 

And being in the entertainment business, you won't have a stable income. That's why if you know models that are sent overseas by their agents(some), feed on biscuits everyday. Because they just can't get a job, their allowance just allows them to feed on some water & biscuits. 

This industry sure is a tough one, but if that's what you really want, trust me, you're gonna survive, you're gonna make it❤️ 

Images: Tumblr